Making a Mess
by Xendell
Summary: Marluxia decides to abuse his Castle Oblivion powers and invades Vexen's lab.. though action painting with Vexen's potions is a bad idea. A very bad idea.
1. Action Painting

**A/N: So, here I am again. It's been a while, hasn't it? I have holidays now, so time on my hands :D And time on my hands equals writing xD Anyhoo, let's get to the story.**

**Dedicated to my reviewers, I promised this to you guys! Kisses! **

**Written to several different Disney songs. Eheheh xD**

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Chapter One: Action Painting

My steps sounded loud and out of place in the spacious room. I held my hands stiffly against my sides, afraid to touch anything or knock something over. The one I was looking for was not at the place I expected him to be and it annoyed me, but the annoyance wasn't strong enough to make me feel less uneasy. Or rather, _remember _was it was like to feel uneasy, since I didn't really _feel._

It was only after I noticed my eyes began to get used to the dark surroundings that I realized could've turned on the lights. I mentally slapped myself. I was making this impossibly difficult for myself. Stroking one pink lock of hair out of my left eye, I stood and wondered what to do. I had two options; go back up to my room and do something useful, or go back up to my room and wait for my object of annoyance to come back from whatever he was doing.

I can't stay here, can I? Absolutely impossible, a ridiculous idea, something I really, really shouldn't-

I suddenly imagined the face of the Academic after he'd found out I'd been in his lab for a few hours, inspecting, _exploring.._ I resisted the urge to giggle. It wouldn't score me brownie points, but _gods _I'd be fun. I looked around once more. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to knock a thing or two over.

--

I carefully grabbed another bottle off the highest shelf, reading its tag, written in Vexen's small, scribbly writing. Slowly, I made the thick liquid, which colour matched VII's hair, stir, watching it stick to the surface of the bottle. I uncorked it and immediately smelled some sort of soapy scent. Carelessly dropping the bottle with red substance to the floor, I went on to the next bottle I could reach. I didn't even look at it, but just smashed it against the nearest wall, leaving a big, blue stain.

After what seemed like an hour, I'd created a true masterpiece of different colours on the floors and walls. The normal white had been replaced with blotches of blue, red, green, purple and different nuances where the colours mixed.The lab table seemed to be covered in ice, but remembering the tag I knew it was some sort of strong acid- I also _heard_ the table melt away, just a few feet away from me.

Wow, what a nice mess I'd made.

--

Later, I sat in my room, absently playing with a small rosebud, encouraging it to open up. I was when the petals untensed that I heard a laugh that could only come from a certain red-haired pyromaniac. Though VIII should be somewhere around the first floor, his voice reached even the highest levels. What he said brought even a smile to my face.

'_No, old man, I haven't been in your lab, but I do like the idea of creating a painting with your stuff.. it's not like you used those potions anyway-'_ Even I could hear Axel's sentence was cut off, and he was cut off by a cream that expressed pure rage. I noted to myself that the normally introvert Academic would not very soon produce a sound like that again, if ever.. well ofcourse that depended on whether I would find his lab unprotected again.

As I saw a black portal appear in front of my desk, I lay away the now fully opened and blooming flower and pretended to work. Let's see what dear Vexen has to say, for I know nothing, do I?

--

Fury. Pure fury with a dash of rage and anger entered my room. I looked up, slowly, trying not to brush my hand through my hair. All I really saw were his bright green eyes, glinting with adrenaline over his recent discovery; though I was sure the scientist wasn't happy at the moment. I kept my poker-face, I could've been Luxord's pupil, and asked why he thought he could just bash into my room like that.

The story the scientist told was greatly amusing. He told me about the waste of losing expensive and rare potions and about harassment of his personal privacy and private space and if I could do something about _Axel who kept ruining his stuff…_

I slid my chair back and stood up, gracefully as always, taking two steps so I was facing the scientist and opened my mouth to speak to him, some stinging insult I'd just made up, but I didn't have the scientist's attention anymore. He was looking downwards, wide-eyed, slowly raising his finger to _point_ at my shoes and robe.

'_You!' _ he blurted out, while his gaze travelled up again towards my tiny content smile, confusion rapidly being replaced by newly found rage. Ofcourse I knew there were stains in many different colours on my shoes and the underside of my robe, that my sleeves and gloves were stained as well and some spots had melted away from the bright blue acid- I knew and I wanted him to know too. And ofcourse he saw the moment I stood up.

'_Yes, me.' _My smug grin never left my face, but inside I felt like there was a knot in my stomach. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to stand up, or maybe to _action paint_ with Vexen's potions at all. Said scientist's eyes narrowed, and, never saying the terrible things he wanted to say, he turned and portaled away.

Yes, a mess it was indeed, but it seemed much less _nice_ to me now..

--

The first sunrays were already visible when I finally made up my mind. I knew I had to look miserable from the lack of sleep, but I'd really had enough of pacing through my room and the corridors, doubting what to do. I didn't feel bad about my actions, I _can't_ feel bad for darkness' sake, but it kept coming back in my mind. I didn't know why. I tried reasoning but ended up thinking Vexen was better at that than me, I tried following my emotions, but remembered they were mere illusions, I tried listening to what dark heart I had left but heard nothing but silence. I waited for a moment of insight after which I would perfectly know what to do, but grew tired of waiting after a few hours. So what was left was to just go down there and let goddamn _destiny_ decide what would happen.

--

As I portaled into the lab I realized my first fault; it was still three in the morning and waking the scientist was something I didn't want to do. As I held still and tried not to make a single sound, maybe he hadn't woken yet and I could get away unnoticed, the blinking white walls and floor seemed to scream at me. He'd cleaned it all, every single colour – only the lab table was ruined, there were big gaping holes in the surface and it wasn't straight and polished but uneven, useless.

I couldn't help but walk towards it; I had to see my own destructive powers with my own eyes from a reasonable distance. I fingered the surface, sliding my fingers along it and unintentionally hurting them. I looked at my index finger as it cried a small drop of blood.

'_Serves you right, huh?' _ I whispered to myself, watching the blood travel down my finger towards my palm, creating a red line.

'_Indeed.'_ Second fault: I'd let my guard down. Vexen had approached me from behind, long pale fingers now clutching my wrists, pinning me to the lab table with his cool body. For the first time I really noticed that he was taller than me and it scared me. Suddenly I didn't feel like the Lord of Castle Oblivion, but more like some servant I didn't want to be.

'_Since you invaded my personal space, it's no more than fair I invade yours too..'_ His whisper soft and husky. I closed my eyes as I felt Vexen's hand travel down my body. I remembered this had to be destiny. So I was destined to have Vexen punish me here, in one of his many perverted ways? I knew he liked me, in _that_ kind of way, but I thought he loathed me more.

I didn't want to coöperate with destiny anymore. I tried to struggle, to wriggle my way out of his iron grip, but one of his cold hands was wrapped around my waist- now I really couldn't move anymore. I tried to speak to him, calm and reasonably, but he skillfully slid two fingers into my mouth, effectively silencing me. I threw my head back, trying to get out of my uncomfortable position- all in vain. It only made me stand even closer to him.

His other hand was reaching for my zipper and it drove me over the edge; I bit his fingers, hard, and somehow managed to get them out of my mouth.

'_Vexen, please! I don't-_'

'_Yes, Marluxia! Beg for what you want, beg for it, you superficial arrogant dog! I won't take your attitude anymore!'_

He was breathing heavily, his lips parted, his hands worn from touching the may different acids and whatnot. I looked into his eyes, and for a single moment his grip faltered. That was my chance; I jerked my arms loose and ran away. Before I knew I'd stepped through a portal and was standing in my own room, panting heavily.

My legs gave in and I collapsed on the floor.

'_I'm safe, I'm safe.. Gee, I'm a disaster, I'm a coward and a traitor, I really shouldn't mess with my elders and so many things went wrong.. but gods I'm safe. I'm safe…safe..'_ I already drifted off to a restless sleep, folding my arms under my head and pulling my legs up. The thought of crawling towards my bed didn't even dawn on me.

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**Wha, it turned out really different from what I'd expected from it.. So.. tell me what you think? Please? puppy eyes**


	2. Nightly Adventures

**A/N: It's official. The second chapter is here :D And I already wish I never started writing in first person perspective…it's difficult. But I'll manage…somehow… anyway enjoy!**

**Written to more Disney songs xD**

**I hope you like it and please review!**

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Chapter Two: Nightly Adventures

_It's cold. And white. The world around me is snowy. The mountains above me and the cliffs below me, they're all stark white, covered in snow and ice. I felt like a flashlight, my pink hair and black leather coat sharply contrasting against the white surroundings. _

_Green, green eyes in a world of ice. His beautiful eyes looking at me, lovingly, softer than I'd ever imagined them. His golden hair framing the sharp lines of his face, a beautiful frame for an even more beautiful picture. I touch him, his beautiful hair, try to feel the softness in my fingers, whisper his name, but he jerks away._

_I speak his name again, pleadingly, this world takes my pride away and the only thing I feel is the cold. He lets my fingers slide over his as he pulls his hand away. He looks down, entangling our fingers, softly breathing against my neck._

_When I look at his eyes again, they're not green; the flaming orange startles me. Golden locks replaced by neat silver spikes. My rival staring back at me, touching my hair, my face. He whispers in a language I do not understand._

_I jerk away. It doesn't work. I stretch out my arm, to reach for help, screaming the name of my icy angel in terror. The touches of that flaming orange burn in my skin, the colour stands out too much in this icy world, it blinds me and I'm afraid. I writhe and struggle again, but his grip has burned into my flesh and we've melted into one, I get drawn closer and can't get loose -_

_--_

Sweating, I woke up. My bed was cold and damp and only after I had rolled out of it and hit the floor, hard, I realized I was awake. What kind of dream was that? Since when did I dream about Vexen, and about the Superior of all people?! Still panting and the fear slightly echoing in my mind, I tried to gather the pieces of the dream I still remembered. Why do all dreams begin so nicely but end up being dead scary?

'XI? Do you.. um.. always sleep on the floor?' I jumped, surprised by the sudden voice. When I saw the speaker, my eyes widened even further.

'Vexen?! What are you doing here?!' He eyed me suspiciously, and I realized I must've looked ridiculous, lying on the floor, entangled in my sheets and just being_ not graceful_.

'Well, you probably won't believe me, but I heard you screaming my name.' I felt myself go one shade paler than I already was. Shit, why are these dreams always so real?!

'I don't know what you're talking about. Go back to your own room, I want to sleep.' I ordered him, trying to _somehow _sound like a leader. I failed miserably, but pretended to not have noticed.

'XI, since you have such a perverted mind, I'm sure you know what I'm thinking right now,' Vexen stated. When I looked at him confusedly, he continued; 'You've just been screaming my name, and now you're on the floor, entangled in your sheets, sweaty, _panting.._' I stormed towards him, roughly turning him around and ushering him out of the door.

'You, you--!! Get the hell out of my room!' I managed to scream and slammed the door shut. As I ran back to my bed, I felt myself blushing furiously and put my hands over my face, secluding myself from the world. I buried my face in the pillows, trying to forget, but things one tries to forget are always remembered…

--

It can't have sounded as if I actually was.. no, that can't be. I was afraid, wasn't I? Wouldn't screaming Vexen's name in bliss sound differently from screaming Vexen's name in fear? It would, right? I mused it to myself for the umpteenth time, trying to figure out what went wrong.

Larxene's high-pitched, cruel laugh pulled me out of my thoughts. I smiled as she entered, the air immediately filling with electric tension. I got used to it now. She began chattering to me about something Axel had done to her carpet, and I figured he had burned it since it was Axel after all, and just let her speak. I smiled at the right moments, but didn't really follow her story. Suddenly I realized her room was next to mine.

'Um, Larxene, now for something completely off-topic,' I looked at her, and she looked back at me, curiously, obviously waiting for a question I was going to ask. 'Did you, erh, _hear_ anything yesterday?' She looked at the ceiling in a thinking gesture, bringing her hand to her mouth.

'Well, I've been awake all night and I don't recall anything strange.. Most of the times I only hear things that happen right in front of my door, like when Vexen walked by this night, still wonder where he was going y'know?' She giggled. 'But asides from that, no. They constructed the rooms in such a manner that you barely hear anything but the sounds in your own room. Or, as I said, in front of your door. Oh!' Suddenly she looked at me wide eyed. 'Wait, I heard you this morning, at four or so!'

I couldn't look at her face anymore and instead decided to inspect my shoes.

'And what exactly did you hear?' I was still looking at my shoes. Please, please don't let it be true, please, please…

'Well, you pushed someone out of your room, into a portal, screaming "get the hell out of my room". Couldn't see who it was though, since the portal was already open. I just came into my room, that's why I saw.. who was it anyway, Mar?' I hid my relief, but gods, I was happy. Larxene gave me her I'm-your-best-friend-so-tell-me-who-was-in-your-room-tonight-look, but I shrugged.

'You wouldn't believe me. Now, would you count the number of heartless in Twilight Town for me? Thanks, and I want to have the report in two days.' Larxene was struck for a moment, but then she turned with an arrogant 'hah!' and portaled away.

--

Later that day I realized that Vexen must have been in front of my door this morning, even Larxene hadn't heard me screaming, but Vexen had. It's quite impossible to hear something coming from the top floor when you're in the basement, while other people on the top floor don't hear anything… A small smile appeared on my face. It's payback time!

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**I hope you enjoyed and please review! Reviews are my writing-fuel**..


	3. Encounter

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long! It was hard for me to write, because I couldn't decide whether to let the yaoi start in this chpater already or to wait.. so well. Anyway I hope you like it!**

(Why, whyyy did I start this in first person? Why? It makes things so much more difficult!)

**Disclaimer: Not mine, etc..**

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Chapter Three: Encounter

Night had fallen over Castle oblivion like a thick blanket, peace slowly returned to the busy people and sleep came to take over their minds. Except for one.

I walked down the corridors, slowly and softly, trying not to make a sound at all. I knew it had to be sometime past midnight. After some more time, walking silently just needs time, I finally reached my destination, the basement lay before me. It was only then that I realized I could have used a portal. No matter, I was where I had to be.

I heard the sound of a shower running and silently thanked whatever god was watching over me; now I could execute my plan perfectly. If he could be in front of my room at night, I surely could be at his too right? The sound of water running stopped and I heard footsteps in the room, then the lights went out and it became completely silent. My own breathing seemed unnaturally loud, even though it hardly made a sound. I was nervous, I could tell, but not nervous enough to let go of this opportunity to have some fun. And payback.

I knew he couldn't sleep yet. He had to hear me. And so I started. Slowly breathing, I moaned.

I heard nothing in the room. I tried again.

'Oh.. nhh..'

This time, I heard something move and I smiled to myself. It worked!

'ahh… oh, oh gods..' I was going louder and I _knew_ he was listening to me.

'hnnn.. ah.. ah! ..Oh..oh, _Vexen..' _There was a loud _thump_ in the room and I almost doubled over laughing, just avoiding laughing out loud. I walked away from the door and hid myself in the shadows of the corner of the corridor, cautious not to get caught. Only a moment later the door opened and a head with slightly damp, blond hair peeked out. He whispered. He whispered my name, I realized in shock.

'Marluxia..? Marluxia, are you there..? This is not funny, you know..' The way he said it made something in me hurt, he looked so helpless.

'Marluxia..?'

'Yes?' I covered my mouth with my hand and tried to make myself invisible. What the hell did I just do?! What, what happened? Why did I _answer him?!_

Vexen looked around the corridor, his eyes wide. It took sometime, he was inspecting every corner, but at last he saw me, hand clutching my mouth and frozen in shock and fear. It must've looked weird to say the least, because a small smile graced his lips. He walked towards me, slowly, wearing nothing but his boxers. I knew he wasn't going to speak, so I didn't either. I just looked away and waited for what was to come. His hands grabbed my wrists, though not like last time, this time it was gentle, _tenderly _almost, and he led my arms away from my body. He pressed himself against me, softly, pinning me to the wall, and yet it wasn't forceful, it was soft, slow, _gracious. _He dipped his head down and I felt his cool breath on my lips.

'Why are you here?' My eyes widened and I looked up at him, not answering his softly spoken question. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, still expecting to be turned around and be punished, abused to no end. One of his hands travelled to my chin, his thumb stroking my lower lip.

'Well?' he whispered again. I knew I had to find my voice back quickly.

'P-payback..' I managed to force it out my throat, but my breath hitched and my voice didn't sound like mine at all. I saw his expression change to slightly hurt.

'Just payback..?' I nodded ever so slightly, too afraid to say more. He let go of me.

'Go to bed, XI. I don't want to see you in this corridor anymore.' His expression, the softness just now, it left me stunned. He turned and walked towards his room and it _hurt_ to see him like that, I felt I'd gone too far.

'Vexen! Wait..' He looked back at me, at the hand I held stretched out in reaching gesture. As I looked at it too, I jerked my hand back. I tried to make myself small, confused and at a loss of words. Vexen turned around, one hand on his hip and patiently waiting for my next move.

'I-if you don't want to see me in this corridor anymore..' he cocked his head to the side, 'does that apply to..' I looked at him, a small smile on my face, 'to…to your room as well?'

Vexen turned around abruptly and walked briskly to the door of his room. He walked through it and I thought he'd slam it in my face.

'Just for tonight, Marluxia.' I stared. Wide-eyed. He actually.. forgave me? I couldn't look at him as I walked in, but I knew we had to talk this whole matter over before morning. Morning would be too late.

--

He sat on his bed and patted the spot besides him, gesturing me to sit. I walked over, but hesitated. I was at a disadvantage here.

Yet he didn't seem hostile now. Just tired.. and sad. Hurt, maybe. I sat down next to him. The room was cold, but not as cold as the lab itself. It was slightly messy, clothing on different chairs and some items on the floor and table, but other than that it was tidy.

'You know, I could have done everything I wanted to you just now. I could do it right now. And still you're here as if nothing happened, as if nothing could happen.' His voice tore me from my thoughts, and I silently agreed with what he said. It was stupid, but he wasn't doing anything now right?

'I thought maybe we could solve this matter,'

'About me wanting you and you not wanting me?' He was so direct!

'I'm not sure.. if that really is how things are-' He slapped my cheek, angrily growling, making me shrink into a ball and clutch my cheek with both hands.

'Don't go giving me false hope-' 'That hurt, you bastard!'

'Well, it's payback. I thought you liked that so much, huh?' His eyes were flaming with rage, and he was advancing on me. I panicked, nothing but panic and pure fear were on my mind. I jumped off the bed and ran out of the room, into a portal. Only when I laid on my bed, curled into a ball, was it that I felt somewhat safer again.

--

Vexen slammed his fist into the wall, causing the paint to crack. He sighed in frustration. He'd ruined it all.. and hadn't even taken advantage of the situation.

'Will such a perfect opportunity ever come again?' he sighed, and closed his eyes, thinking back at the short moment he'd had only moments ago, whispering softly to the frightened form in his arms.

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**So.. what do you think? Please review, I need the feedback because English isn't my first language and it's hard for me to express myself. **

**Next chapter will come soon!**

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	4. Skin Contact

**A/N: Dedicated to MarluxiaXI for reviving me, haha! I'm ALIIIIIVE! Enjoy the new chapter.**

**This is not the end, by the way. **

**Warnings: It's a little gory halfway, but nothing too gruesome.  
**

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The bright white light of the morning sun lit up the stark white walls of my room, causing my sleeping mind to slowly come back to consciousness. As I rubbed my eyes, I sat up, finding myself fully clothed in my bed. The memories of the past night steadily began coming back to me, and I forcibly resisted the urge to hide my face in my hands.

How could I be so stupid? Yet, I didn't feel regret, _ofcourse_ I didn't, but it just seemed such an illogical thing to do. I portaled to my garden and sat down next to my roses, stroking them absently and enjoying the sudden cool, humming with the soft tunes of growing floral life.

Maybe things needn't be so bad. Maybe things could still be fixed. Maybe it just needed a little time. I'd been foolish. He'd been.. well, Vexen. Like always.

I sighed. This wasn't getting me anywhere.

--

Zexion was sitting in a corner of Vexen's, today more than ever, unnaturally cold lab. He watched silently as the other was attaching the legs to the Replica's body, and noted that concentration was severely lacking at the moment. He stood up and walked towards the Academic.

'You know, most of the times legs don't go there. That should be an arm.' Vexen turned around to look at him with an almost comical, suprized expression. Then he looked back at the Replica, who was lying flat on his back, and was now wearing a leg on his shoulder. Zexion almost, almost chuckled.

'Zexion..' Vexen growled, his voice low and dangerous, but Six refused to feel intimidated. Instead, he wanted to push his little amusement a little further.

'I mean, how is it supposed to walk like this. It would be rather inefficient to make it walk like a crab, sideways… ohwell, maybe it just needs a little getting used to..' He actually chuckled now, but stepped backwards before Vexen could harm him out of pure frustration.

'Will you fix it?' He asked casually, and had to duck to avoid getting hit by a bottle, being thrown from Vexen's direction. He portaled out, just in time to still be able to hear the not entirely human sounding scream coming from Four.

--

I put away my paperwork and stretched myself, like a cat, feeling the joints of my back popping back into place. I knew I had to do something about that infuriating, tantalizing presence in my mind, and that there was but one way to deal with it; confront it. Yet, I did not look forward to meeting him again. His anger, his violence... if I had been able to, I would've felt scared.

And at the same time, I longed for him. I wanted, needed to hear him say that it would be alright. That he forgave me. That he would aid me in my quest to overthrow the Organization.. that he would be there if I fell. Not that I would ever tell him that I felt this way. It would be foolish, I would simply be giving him an advantage and something to blackmail me with, it would be.. it would be so _nice. _So nice to be absolutely safe for once, to close my eyes and lay in his arms and let the world be taken from me-

A knock on the door.

I looked at it, and silently willed it to open itself. It didn't work. I got up, and walked towards the door, to open it just enough that I could peek through it.

'Good afternoon, XI.'

'Hello, Zexion.'

'Why the informal tone?'

'Don't question me.'

'I'm coming in.' I stepped back to open the door for him. 'We need to discuss some matters.'

'Yes.' I wasn't genuinely interested, but decided to listen to keep him happy.

--

About half an hour later I had inspected everything I could see from my luxurious armchair, from the small stain on the wall besides me to the cracks in the white floor to the way Zexion's hair swayed when he moved his head. He was _still_ talking about the Replica and goodness-knows-what else, and frankly he had lost my attention about 25 minutes ago.

'So do you understand?' He concluded. I shook my head.

'No. Don't you think you can show me? I can hardly imagine a Replica of Riku with arms where legs should be.' I saw Zexion sigh.

'Fine. Just don't mind IV, he has been incredibly cranky and even less agreeable than otherwise. I'm just warning you.'

'I can take care of myself, VI.'

He opened a portal to the labs and we went down. It was noisier than last time, ofcourse last time it had been late to the point of early, yet now beeping machines with flickering lights were everywhere, some of them moving, some of them with lights that changed colours, others with huge graphs, which I didn't understand. I saw Vexen standing in the back of the labs, glaring at me, and I tried to ignore him. I could barely ignore the way I suddenly had goosebumps all over my arms, but decided to rub my arms and blame the cold. Zexion shook his head, vaguely pointing at Vexen.

'He likes the temperature. Makes him more efficient.'

We looked at the Replica. It was hideous.

'Is this supposed to look like Riku?' Zexion laughed, it almost sounded like barking.

'Yes. We have all of his data and blueprints here, so it should look like him, we build it according to the data...' He trailed off, and I glanced at the papers. Yes, the blueprints looked fine. The poor Replica looked nothing like it's blueprints though. It was laying limply on the lab table, still opened up down it's chest, some organs already installed, others still laying at the side. I pointed at the stomach, speaking slowly.

'I'm not sure, because I don't know much about Biology, but.. doesn't this stomach look.. upside down to you?' Zexion frowned, and looked from where I was standing. I noted that he had to stand on his toes to look into the Replica's chest. When I heard him curse and mutter under his breath, I smiled. Zexion walked over to Vexen, and began hissing to him, and making large gestures with his arms, his face cramped in a furious expression. I couldn't help taunting them a little. The opportunity was much too perfect.

'Tch, tch... Xemnas will not like this.. carelessness.' Both their heads turned at the exact same time, to glare at me, as if they had practiced to do so. I smiled sweetly, and both me and Zexion opened our mouth to speak-

Suddenly my back was slammed against the lab table, and long, spidery hands were around my neck. Vexen tightened his grip and I could not breathe- I clawed at him but he simply lifted me further, the tension making his arms tremble.

'If you report to Xemnas' he hissed, his voice so full of hatred, it made me feel cold with fear, 'report to him.. you will suffer.'

I noticed I wasn't cold with fear. He. He was freezing me. His rage made him so cold to the touch, his hands around my throat were freezing my veins and blocking my life. I coughed, then my eyes rolled back in my head.

'I don't want to die-!

Not

Not like this....' Darkness took my vision, sleep took my breath.

I collapsed.


	5. Four Weeks

**A/N: New chapter. Finally got this going again. Sorry for the wait, and enjoy! **

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**It had been a month since my dramatic collapse in Vexen's lab. As I lay on my bed and tangled my fingers in my considerably shorter-than-before hair, I thought back at what had happened. Most of the time I simply tried to forget, you can't deny this Castle was the perfect place for that, but on days like this….

I sighed, and looked in the mirror once more. I still wore bandages around my neck, and my hair now barely reached my earlobes. Surgery. Vexen said it had been necessary if I wanted to exist on- had he deliberately not used the word "live"?

In any case, the frostbite on my neck and chest had been really bad, and I seem to have been out for at least a week.

It wasn't my fault. I had done nothing wrong.

As much as I kept telling myself, I still would not believe it. If only I had, what if I hadn't… Do I even deserve this position as Lord of Oblivion? Of course, Xemnas had given it me. Xemnas. That foolish bastard who would help us all into nothingness. Kingdom Hearts, hah! Even the idea was ridiculous.

And yet.

I'd seen it, two nights ago. It was small, and if one didn't know, one might've thought it was simply the moon- but it wasn't. This moon had a heart shape. This moon had a heartbeat. That maniac Superior had actually managed to get Kingdom Hearts started, fragile as it may be.

The door to my bedroom clicked and opened, and I did not even have to look up to know who it was. It was two past three, every day, that he came to check up on my wounds.

"Check-up", he said, as if that would excuse his rudeness and lack of knocking.

I sat up, began to untie the bandages, and undressed. If only he did the check-ups because he cared. If only he did them because he pretended to care. Of course not. If I were to face Xemnas with frostbite all over me, he'd be executed for mutiny. It would serve him damned right.

But I never faced Xemnas with the frostbite all over me. I let others, dusks even, go in my place, or simply did not show up. Xemnas was not amused. I did not care and he knew. I knew he did. What did it matter? I do my job well and he has nothing to complain about- so he does not complain. Sometimes we understand each other, the Superior and I.

I felt Vexen's fingers touching my scarred skin. He lifted my chin up to see it better. Nowadays, he simply let it heal on it's own. The treatment had been intense and painful, but I had to admit it had worked. There were few scars left and even those were fading.

"Vexen." My voice sounded empty, hollow in the confines of my bedroom.

"Yes." He simply answered, without even looking me in the eye.

"You're cold."

"I always am."

"Don't do that, it hurts."

"Don't be such a whiner, Marluxia."

"I mean it."

"…..Oh."

He finally looked at me, his expression still serious as before. I glared back, but my eyes had lost their former fire. I vaguely remembered times when I found annoying Vexen amusing. Now, I did not enjoy anything at all.

* * *

It had been a month since my dramatic collapse. It had been three weeks of mental and physical abuse.

Vexen knew I was helpless. Vexen knew I would die without him. He knew he could do whatever he wanted.

I cared, the first time. I felt sadness and pain and fear and disgust and shame. Or, I thought I felt it. The second time, it was not so bad. It was not so forced, either.

Three weeks later I had stopped caring completely. It was as if even this non-existence had lost it's purpose like I had lost my hair. I wondered if it would grow back. I did not age, so I assumed not.

Cut. Forever gone.

"Check-up" He said. I undressed myself.

* * *

It had been a month and a week. The door clicked and he came in again. It was two past three.

My hands found the zipper of my coat, and I tried to pull it down. Suddenly he was before me, and held back my hand. I looked at him, questioning, amazement being the first "emotion" I had displayed in weeks.

"Look at yourself, Marluxia."

He led me to the large mirror on the opposite side of the room. What I saw there, was not what I had seen yesterday.

My hair, like a magnificent waterfall, down on my shoulders again. My neck soft and scar-free. Glimmer in my eyes. I felt proud.

"How?" I asked him. He smiled. I made a note to remember that gesture for the rest of my non-existence.

"You wouldn't understand." He stroked my hair. It was silent for a while.

When we looked at each other again, we spoke simultaneously.

"Thank you, for all this"-"I'm glad you're okay again"

I looked away. I felt awkward. So did he, apparently.

Not much later, his lips were on mine. I did not mind.

Actually, I did not mind at all.


End file.
